Note: The following is idiotic.

Step 1 : Go through your cell phone and find people that you haven't talked to in years. The longer it has been the better. Enemies will work too.

Step 2: Send them a text message.
Examples:

• LOOK BEHIND YOU (the paranoid message)
• Season's greetings from Uncle Leroy (the personal message)
• Mazal Tov! (the religious message)
• Beware El Pollo Loco (the nonsense message)
• From Twitter.com: farsheed is pooping (the web 2.0 message)